Society jokes
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
Why do orphans like going to church?
They can actually call someone "father."
What a world we live in. Now we’re making jokes about anorexic people.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.
Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home plate.
You want to hear a 9/11 joke?
I bet they did too!
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they finally have someone to call father.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
[pause] You said you’d never forget.
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
Why can't Americans play chess?
Because they already lost two towers.