Society jokes

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."

The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because we shot the last one that had a dream.

Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.

What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?

Some people don’t pick it.

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

What do cannibals call newborn babies?

Fresh fruit.

Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"

Me: "To reduce the population by one."

I got kicked out of the library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.

Feminists are a joke.

My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.

She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,

"It didn't work out."

She told me to be more specific, so I said,

"I just told you, she didn't exercise."

If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all. Heck, cheer on the rapist, or join in the fun.

When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.

But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)

What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.

Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.

I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.

How many blacks does it take to start a riot?

-1.

I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.

Genders are like the Twin Towers.

There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a sensitive subject.

China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.