I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage :)
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.
I once got in trouble in the library for putting the women's right book in the fantasy section.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Flippity floppity, women are property.
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
What's an orphan's favorite song?
"Gimme Shelter."
