Society jokes
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
Not a joke but I hope the ones who are making jokes about Mexicans are Mexican themselves, lmao, cuz if you're not, uh... I think we both know what you are. 😟
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?...
'Cause they need to find someone to call DADDY.
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
Men.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one.
Women suck (GET IT?!)
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"