You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
What do you call an Indian that doesn’t smell?
Asif
When you're born on 4/20/69...
Did you all hear about the newest gay celebrity couple? Yeah, John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn.
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.
Time for a remake!
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
What happened when a kid bullied an orphan?
The orphan said, "I’m going to tell my mom!"
Bully: "I wanna see your mom!"
Narrator: At that moment, he knew he messed up.
This was my friend's joke he wanted me to post;)
Why don’t orphans live in villages?
Because they will get abandoned.
Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!
