Soccer jokes
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
I was playing FIFA and out of nowhere the game glitched during a penalty shootout.
Pionel Pessi appeared out of nowhere, took my pen and skied it. Thanks to him, I'm out of UCL and was sacked in Career Mode. Shame on you Pessi!😡😡😡😡
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.
Why don't some people have balls? Because they play soccer with them.
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
Hi Freshfry, hi Alex, I did not see your messages yesterday because I was at my brother's soccer game, and then people came to our house till 11:00. Lol, sorry :)
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with David Beckham?
They both dribble.
FC Chelsea fans are just as nervous, stupid, scared, and restless as their allies.
Suiiiii!
I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair playing soccer?
Rocket League!
(Ali A Intro)
I like men.
Wanna smash?
Suck my balls.
I'm in class as I'm posting this ass joke.
This joke sucks terribly.
Honestly just like and leave.
Add me on discord.
IceyTrae#2230
Lebron>MJ
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.