Soccer jokes
We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with David Beckham?
They both dribble.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
Why can't a girl with no legs play soccer? Because she's a girl.
Why can’t an orphan play soccer?
If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.
Who is an orphan's favorite soccer player?
Been fostered.
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
What is a sheep's favorite soccer player? Paul Pogbaaa.
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
What's Africa's greatest sporting achievement? The 2018 World Cup...
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
Why don't orphans play football?
They can't find home.