Soccer jokes

MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢

NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝

MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔

LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿

POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅

"GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬

"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.

Lessi

What is the Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country, wall climbing, and their favorite activity in the summer is lawn mowing.

Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?

She keeps on running from the ball.

Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.

We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"

Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.

Messi is really messy.

Why can't Chinese people play football? They will eat the bat.

Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?

They never walk alone.

Messi chiquito...

Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

And Sterling has taken a dive.

That's all for financial news, back to the football.

A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.

VVD [is] better than Sergio Ramos.

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

I have no puns because I don't play soccer.