New Soccer Jokes

Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?

Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!

Why is Penaldo's favorite club Real Mallorca?

Because it reminds him of Kathryn Mallorca🥵

Playing soccer in a wheelchair basically rocket league in real life

Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.

Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?

I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante and Neymar! At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

It was a important knockout game for Al Nassr 🔥 I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play, It was my dream for a long time 🤩 I took a cab to the stadium but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead 😔 As soon as I entered the house I saw a ghost☠️ but the very next moment I realized its my idolo Ronaldo 🥳 Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me 😭♥️

Why are Indians so good at football? Each time they get a corner they open a shop.

What is the Mexicans favorite sports?

Cross country, wall climbing, and their favorite activity in the summer is lawn mowing.

"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo." -Al Nassr owner

Once I went to watch a match in protugol it was between penaldo and his kids the Refree was Georgiana(his wife) mpaypal and igayspeed were also there the match begin and his kids scored 2 goals in first 10 minutes and during when match was about to end penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties his wife declined and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them ) but won 3-2. Shame on u penaldo 😡😡😡

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair. We started playing rocket league

Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?she keeps on running from the ball.

why can't chinese people play football? they will eat the bat

Wheel chair soccer is just irl Rocket League. Change my mind.

Why didn't the boy like his christmas presents, hint: they were a soccer, bicycle, and running shoes?

why can't orphans play soccer? they cant kick

Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.