Snap

Snap jokes

Bill

"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.

Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.

Cereal

Have you heard about the new cereal?

It's called "Prostituties."

They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!

Cheetah

Why can't you play memory snap in the jungle?

Because there are too many cheetahs.

Avenger

Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?

Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.

Memes

Babe

Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!

He's a hot babe and he's single.

Bridge

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

Son

David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?

Answer: David.

Marriage

A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.

First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.

Endgame

They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!

Wish

An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."

"What is it?" she asked.

"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.

"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.

"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.

"And your final wish?" the genie asked.

"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."

Head

What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet

Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)

Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!

Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!

Letter

Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).

Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.

Homosexual

What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?

When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩

Corona

Corona be like:

Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.

*snap*

Bullying

Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.

  • 2
  • Mama

    Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"