Smell jokes
A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"
I smell like skunk.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
There are three men walking down the road, and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm, there is a cow, a monkey, and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money, and the farm is going out of business.
One of the men sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest, but the cow is so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle, it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them suggested that they put a cork up the cow's behind. The first guy says, "Okay, then go put a cork there."
"I don't want to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it." And the monkey puts the cork in the cow's behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm.
The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of the cow. "Guys, we need to take the cork out of the cow," he says.
"Well, I'm not going to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it again." So the monkey uncorks the cow, and there was a huge explosion. A few days later, the three men wake up in the hospital.
The doctor walks up to the first man and asks, "What happened?"
The first man replies, "All I remember is that horrible sound."
The doctor walks up to the second man and asks, "What happened?"
"All I remember is that horrible smell..."
The doctor walks up to the third man and again asks the same question. The third man looks at him and says, "All I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in."
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
My sister said you smell, but then she saw her panties having moles on it.
Knock knock. Who's there? You... You who? You smell like shit!
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
Lynx: For that cheap teenage smell of desperation.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
I love to smell skunks, but I lick their stinky butt. It's delicious. My breath smells like fart.
What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit's finger.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.