A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
I love the smell of my F5 key. It's very refreshing.
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
What is blue but smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.
Dirty bitch!
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
My anus smells.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What is black, smells bad, and long? Line to social services.
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
