What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
Boy: Your dick is so small, oh wait, you don't have one.
Older boy: UNO reverse card!
Kids are only virgins because their dicks are small.
Dude, has anyone made a joke about small foreheads? Oh wait... they would be nonexistent.
You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.
What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?
A Small Medium at Large.
Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"
Dwarf Shortage.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!
Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
