Small jokes
You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.
What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"
Dwarf Shortage.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!
Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
There is a really, really small guy and his name is Adam, so I say, "Hey, look, it's an atom!"
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver? One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.