Size jokes

I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!

It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!

Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.

Your forehead is so big that the teachers used it as a whiteboard.

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

Your forehead is so big I could sell advertising space by the mile on it.

Your forehead is so big that I could draw the map of the world on it.

Yo head so big I can skate on yo head.

I'm talking bout real real big, set a plate on yo head, charge a phone on yo head, build a home on yo head, studio wide, write a song on yo head.

She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Yo mama so fat, she plays tennis with Pluto.

"The size doesn’t matter" - Ana from Frozen.

Earth is smaller than Uranus, wth?

Yo momma so fat!

Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.

Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"