Size jokes
Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
Your forehead is too big. I can see my future when it shines.
Your mom's so fat, the photo from last Christmas is still printing!
I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.
He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"
Sure, just tell me how to put on a mask.
Yo hair so big it took me weeks to find the needle in it.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison? Reports say there's a small medium at large!
Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.
Yo mama so fat, when she ordered a water bed they gave her the Pacific Ocean.
Yo forehead so big you think in HD.
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
Yo mama so fat, when she went into an elevator, she had to go down.