Size jokes
You're so fat your ass has 2 zip codes.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
If I measured your forehead, it would be 100,000,000,000,000,000 miles long.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on a dollar, four quarters pop out.
As a woman, why is your stomach bigger than your bums? 😒
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Yo mama so fat, she needs to go to the gym.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys?
Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little cocks.
Yo mama so fat, she went outside and became the sun.
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck a big dick.
You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.
Yo forehead so big it receives more than the Pacific Ocean!
"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."