Size jokes

When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?

Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.

Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.

Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.

Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."

Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."

Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.

What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?

A microtransaction.

You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

Why can't dwarfs be depressed?

Because they are compressed.

Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.

what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?

dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.

morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.

Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"

Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"

What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?

Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.

Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.

What gets louder as it gets smaller?

A baby in a trash compactor.

I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.

Simply because they look up to me.

My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!

Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."

I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.