Size jokes
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.
I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."
Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."