Size jokes

When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?

Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.

Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.

I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.

Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.

Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."

Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."

Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?

A microtransaction.

You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

Why can't dwarfs be depressed?

Because they are compressed.

Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?

dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.

morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.

What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?

Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.

Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"

Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"

Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.

What gets louder as it gets smaller?

A baby in a trash compactor.

I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.

Simply because they look up to me.

Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.

My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!