Size jokes
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.
I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."
Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."