Size jokes
The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
Why are women’s feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.
What is 6 inches and long?
A Slim Jim.
Your forehead is so big someone thought it was a billboard.
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Why do orphans love chips?
Because they're all family sized.
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing to this day!
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
Your momma is so fat, she can't even go skinny dipping.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.