Size jokes

When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.

Why are women’s feet so small?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"

If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

What is 6 inches and long?

A Slim Jim.

Your forehead is so big someone thought it was a billboard.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing to this day!

Why do orphans love chips?

Because they're all family sized.

You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.

Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.

The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"

Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!

Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?

Because 511472.

Your momma is so fat, she can't even go skinny dipping.

A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?

B: They're both hot?

A: They're both massive.

Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.

At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.