Size jokes

Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?

A: The size of balls they play with.

I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.

Simply because they look up to me.

I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.

Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.

My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!

What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?

A small medium at large.

What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?

My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.

Yo mama so fat, she was the iceberg that sank the Titanic.

I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.

yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"

Yo mama so fat, when she ordered a water bed they gave her the Pacific Ocean.

You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

Yo mama is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through something so small?"

Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.

Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.

Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.

What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."

Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"