Size jokes

When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?

I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.

Simply because they look up to me.

I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.

My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!

Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.

What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?

My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.

What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?

A small medium at large.

I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Yo mama so fat, she was the iceberg that sank the Titanic.

Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.

yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"

Yo mama so fat, when she ordered a water bed they gave her the Pacific Ocean.

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.

I think she was pulling my leg.

I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.

When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.

You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through something so small?"

What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.

Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.