Size Jokes

yo mama so big her belt size said equator

Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it

What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.

run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours it will be fun

Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:

Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.

Why are orphans so lucky? Every crisp packet is family sized

God:(creating elephants) Make it big Angel:How big? God:As big as my d- Angel: Whoa God:Fine 10 feet tall Angel: That's big bu- God: Put a long thing on it's face

Big penis

Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs... cus there quacks too small

Why are Mexican families so big? They don’t know how to put a condom on.

My Penis is big and long what else is... my condom.....cucumber🥒🥒🥒🥜🖕🤬

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

To start im a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off" I said. He said "then you try it". He gave me the Santa suit and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

I was always to I’m to small to ride but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5

What a plus side to being an orphan?

Every bag of chips are family size. T - T

If a midget does meth does he get high or get medium

Big black ball sacks

Ur forehead so big that babies can Use it as a full sized football pitch

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly"

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."