Size jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.

Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.

Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!

What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.

Why does Donald Trump love little boys?

Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little cocks.

Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.

What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.

I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.

I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.

My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.

Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."

Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:

Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).

Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.

Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!

Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!

When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?

What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?

An irrelephant.

Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"

If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.