Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?
We were both caused by broken rubber.
What do 7 year old girls want?
To be ate!
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.
Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.
What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.
Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.
What is the similarity between math and buildings?
Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
