Similarity jokes
What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?
They both went down on my dad.
What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?
Neither can see their parents.
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.
Is that my student?
Na! It is Jesus!
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?
H: It's similar to shoes.
A: White Vans.
What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?
The emo is still hanging.
How are the Twin Towers and genders similar? There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
Louis Day is Steven Hawkins' identical twin.
"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
What is similar between Hitler and Trump?
They both want to keep races out.