Similarity jokes
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
Memes
I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.