Similarity jokes
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds? They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
What is the similarity between math and buildings?
Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.
What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?
We were both caused by broken rubber.
Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?
I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
What are the similarities between apples and emos?
They both hang from trees.
What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her?
They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.