Similarity jokes
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
Memes
I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.