Similarity jokes
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?
They both went down on my dad.
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
How are Fortnite cards and orphans similar? They're given away.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What do emos and ninjas both have in common? They both hide and cut things.
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"