Similarity

Similarity Jokes

Sex

What is similar between sex and fishing?

It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.

Orphan

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.

Smoking

How is smoking similar to oral sex?

The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢

Captain

Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?

They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"

Kid

What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.

Uncle

What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?

They can both do dirty things.

Woman

What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.

Pedophile

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

Stripper

What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.

Monkey

What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?

A monkey caused worldwide outrage.

Girlfriend

A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?

B: They're both hot?

A: They're both massive.

Drum

Why are drums and autistic people the same?

They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"

Eagle

How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

Because they both have eyes.

Pedophile

What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?

They both came from behind and crushed them.