Similarity

Similarity jokes

Uncle

What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?

They can both do dirty things.

Captain

Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?

They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"

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  • Smoking

    How is smoking similar to oral sex?

    The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢

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  • Stripper

    What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.

    Pedophile

    What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

    They both shoot when they see kids.

    Memes

    Orphan

    How are you and an orphan similar?

    Both of your fathers are invisible.

    Kid

    What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.

    Drum

    Why are drums and autistic people the same?

    They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"

    Pedophile

    What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?

    They both came from behind and crushed them.

    Woman

    What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.

    Eagle

    How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

    Because they both have eyes.

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  • Humour

    What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?

    It's funnier when kids get it.

    Monkey

    What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?

    A monkey caused worldwide outrage.

    Girlfriend

    A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?

    B: They're both hot?

    A: They're both massive.

    Twin

    What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?

    They both went down on my dad.

    Hairline

    *True story*

    I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"