Similarity jokes
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
How are Fortnite cards and orphans similar? They're given away.
Why are drums and autistic people the same?
They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?
A monkey caused worldwide outrage.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.