Sign jokes
What language do billboards speak?
Sign language.
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
They don't have anybody to sign the form.
Name: Jack, call sign "triple".
School: Nova corps gun academy.
Location: Wyoming mountains.
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
"Rapeboat" has six fingers on each hand and one big eyebrow. Signs of inbreeding.
Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
Hi, my name is Unknown Guy! Please join my group for the picture I show you, we will do this every week!
Thanks, leave a comment or sign in using the sign in sheet that I have in Google Forms or own the website.
Hint: Pictures of woman.
Btw, for men only!