Sign jokes

We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.

Driver's License-By- watersharky Music Productions and Olivia Rodrigo-

I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else? And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone 'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street...

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.

To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.

All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?

What do a woman construction worker and a woman activist have in common?

They just stand there and hold the sign.

Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"

What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.

You signed up for football, but you're no good.

Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.

Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"

So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"

The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"

Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?

Parental Login: __________

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"

How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.

Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.

All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.

Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

I saw two deaf people talking shit about me in sign language.

So I turned off the lights.