Sign jokes

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

Q: What is a skeleton's favorite color?

A: Blue stop signs.

Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?

I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."

Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”

Your mom is so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign because it never said "go."

Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.

These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.

Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"

Why can't the orphan go on a field trip?

Because he can't sign the parent's signature.

What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

Why don't rappers ever get lost?

Because they always follow the street signs.

A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.

Name: Jack, call sign "triple".

School: Nova corps gun academy.

Location: Wyoming mountains.

If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.

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