Sign jokes

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.

What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.

I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."

Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.

Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”

Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.

These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.

Your mom is so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign because it never said "go."

Why can't the orphan go on a field trip?

Because he can't sign the parent's signature.

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"

A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.

Why don't rappers ever get lost?

Because they always follow the street signs.

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

Why can’t orphans go on field trips?

They need a parent's signature.

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?

A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

Why can't orphans play games?

Parents signed.

If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.