Short jokes

Short jokes

Pork

Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?

Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.

Nun

What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.

Mama

Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!

Gram

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.

Orphan

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Fire

Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?

Her sister is a real Dess-ember!

Dora

¡Hola, soy Dora!

Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!

Politician

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.

They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Difference

What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain Bolt can finish a race.

Dad

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

Guy

Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.

Squirt

What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?

She charges you for extra sauce!

Mop

What is the difference between a broom and a mop?

It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.

Vegetable

My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.

Olympics

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?