Short jokes
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
What did the wire say to the electrician?
"Stop twisting my nuts!"
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
How do you tell a child they have cancer?
With a smile on your face.
When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?
Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.
Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.