Short jokes
Why do cheetahs always get 100 on a test?
They’re cheetahs!
I bet you're naked under all those clothes. Slut.
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?
Only when they file jointly.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
A penis has a bad life. His neighbor is an asshole, his friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
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Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!