Short jokes
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
Turn the comments into a school shootout ;)
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Why don’t Asians get stung by bees?
Because they are always expected to get “A’s.”
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
What do you call an Indian that came home late?
A curfew muncher.
When a wheelchair kid bends over, wheelchair kid goes “ohhahahhahhahahahahal!”