Short jokes
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
The greatest bond you will ever have is the one with your conjoined twin.
Are butt cheeks one word, or should I spread them apart?
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
The winds of Uranus go on and off, so you could say the wind is broken.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
If you're reading this, then your life means nothing...
Have a nice day! 🙂😊
A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?
Nothing, he had no friends.
A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...