Short jokes
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
Before: Caring & Noble.
After: Chernobyl.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
If you thought an inner-city black boy cannot transform into a deranged pale Karen... well, just look at Michael Jackson.
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?
The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.
I love gay people. UwU
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.