Short jokes
Why can't Jordan moan? Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
Will my suicidal thoughts leave me too if I get attached to them?
Why are some girls scared easily?
They don't have balls.
Your mama so white that her first number was 911.
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
I like my women like I like my wine. Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
What did Sally do when she got home?
Cry because she has no arms.
Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"
Responder: "Please hang on!"
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?