Short jokes
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
Are you Jeffrey Dahmer? Because I'd love you to eat me.
What did the orphan say to his parents?
I'm tripping balls right now!
Papyrus: Well come to the underground.
Sans: How was your falls?
Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.
Sans: Give me your balls!
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
What milk do orphan babies drink?
Not their mom's, though.
I love gay people. UwU