Short jokes
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
Question: How bad is German WiFi?
Answer: It's the wurst.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂