Short jokes
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
If she refuses to suck and threatens to bite, just knock her teeth out. Call it the “Bloody Gummer”.
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.
Why is he ourple?
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
This whole page is pure trash. Fuck all of you.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
One time I ate a chair.
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.