Short jokes
I love gay people. UwU
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.
Papyrus: Well come to the underground.
Sans: How was your falls?
Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.
Sans: Give me your balls!
Are you Jeffrey Dahmer? Because I'd love you to eat me.
What did the orphan say to his parents?
I'm tripping balls right now!
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.
Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.
Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.
If per capita is an issue, decapita can be arranged.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.