Short jokes
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.
I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
What do cows call money?
Moola.
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”