B: Can you please stop roasting me?
A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.
Short Jokes
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Jo Mama is so dumb, she tried to eat the Super Bowl.
What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.
I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.
Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
