Short jokes
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
Like if you wanna have sex.
Like if you meet someone emo.
What type of cake can orphans not have?
Homemade.
You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
"Consent is just some fucked up feminist propaganda."