Short jokes
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
What is the capital of Greece? -- About 10 dollars.
Why do I support slavery?
Because I’m white.
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted!
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).