Short jokes
Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
BLM.
*bowl of dark grapes*
Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.
Friend 2: Black? Good one.
Friend 1: 21 at a time.
Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?
In Greece.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."