Short jokes

What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?

A-doll Hitler!

Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."

A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."

He was in the infantry.

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.

Before Jane, was Tarzan clapping gorilla cheeks?

I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...

What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?

A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).

What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.

My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.

Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.

Hitler killed 18 million and only died once.

Fucking camper!

Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.

What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?

"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."

My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.

My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.

What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?

Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂

My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...