Short jokes
What do you call a stupid meme and a Mexican fighting? Juan on Juan.
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
I was invited into a celebrity's house, that's what I told the cops at least...
Anal.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
What is this thing with Alya and Alex?
Your mama.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
Why can Jesus walk on water?
Because rubbish floats.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
When is a rape victim right?
When she admits she lied.
What should you name a dog without any legs?
It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"