Short jokes
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
Explain Bear is my favorite.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
I started crying when my dad cut up onions.
Onions was such a good hamster.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs closed.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.