Short jokes
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
AIDS?
A seal walks into a club.
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
Arsenal
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
Velcro is such a rip-off.