Short jokes
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.
What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?
JENGA!!!!
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon!
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.
You're so cool that celebrities take pictures of you.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
Justice for all!