Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
Short Jokes
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs closed.
Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
