Short jokes
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.
Would you watch a tree grow? Or a knee grow?
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
What is worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine š
I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.
Q: What's the best way to carve wood?
A: Whittle by whittle.
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: brošš
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you donāt need a partner.