Short jokes
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"
Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
F*ck me!
Why are Americans so good at Rubik's Cubes?
They are skilled at separating colors.
What do emo kids like to smoke?
"Marjuanakillmyself."
I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.