Short jokes
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”
Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!
Why did the cop show up early to the protest? To beat the crowd.
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
Don't steal. That's the government's job.
What is a black person's least favorite word game?
Hangman.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.