Short jokes
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"
The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.
A twin engine has two engines.
If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.
What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
Yo mama is so dumb, she plays Pokémon and doesn’t catch any.
What fish sings?
A tuna.
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck
When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
Rapist: Rape doesn't hurt anybody.
Victim: (Implied response indicating the rapist is wrong)
My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.