Short jokes
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
"Dumbest7" is my Xbox account. Hit me up.
My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.
What's better than poo?
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.
How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.
Why can't an orphan play kickball?
Because they can't hit home.
What's an upside of being an orphan?
You'll never get grounded again.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
Prince, where are you? Please talk to me! I swear I love you!