Short jokes
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."
The first ever picture of a black hole got released. It sucks.
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
What's an Asian's favorite food place?
Answer: Petco
GOTTVERDAMMT, Hans! I said, "Glass of juice," not "Gas the Jews!"
Why do orphans commit crimes?
To be wanted.
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
Why was Hitler broke?
The gas prices are outrageous.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!
I have a little John.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"