Short jokes
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?
After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........
109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.
Go to soyjak.party for the funniest memes and soyjaks.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.
For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.