Short jokes

A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

I laughed at their chalk outline.

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn't see that well.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the National Anthem.

Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?

Who else would think of adding gas?

I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.

I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.

What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.

How to fall down stairs.

Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.

If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.

What pool never runs dry?

The one on the Titanic.