They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the National Anthem.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.
How to fall down stairs Step 1 Step 2 Step 6,7,8 9,10
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
What pool never runs dry? The one on the Titanic.
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
