Short jokes
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have? 10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
"Dad, how do stars die?" -- "Usually an overdose."
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered.
The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.
When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Today I was asked to go out by 20 girls. -- I was in the women's bathroom.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.