Short Jokes

Dank puns
in Puns

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

bernard

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

3
Anonymous
in Puns

I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

Anonymous

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

Prowl

Titanic: “And I’m nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!”

Bloodcurdling scream

They laughed at my crayon drawing

I laughed at their chalk outline.

Logan Paul

“I’m sorry” and “I apologise” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

Anonymous

How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty three times.

8
ShiftyDealer69

When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree

5
video games
in Puns

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Anonymous
in Puns

I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

2
Anonymous

Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them and now it’s a sensitive subject

Smol bean

If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.

Anonymous
in Puns

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

9
Anonymous

To the man in the wheel chair who stole my camouflage jacket, You can hide but you cant run.

Harley

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.

austin

my grandpa has a world record for holding his breathe… hes been holding it for 6 years.

6
Isaiah Kellar

What pool never runs dry? The one on the Titanic.

5
Anonymous

My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

Anonymous
in Orphan

What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self raising

9