I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
Short Jokes
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
Titanic: “And I’m nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!”
They laughed at my crayon drawing
I laughed at their chalk outline.
“I’m sorry” and “I apologise” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty three times.
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them and now it’s a sensitive subject
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…
To the man in the wheel chair who stole my camouflage jacket, You can hide but you cant run.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
my grandpa has a world record for holding his breathe… hes been holding it for 6 years.
What pool never runs dry? The one on the Titanic.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self raising