Short jokes

Short Jokes

Vegetable

Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.

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  • Internet

    Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)

    Stephen Hawking

    It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.

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  • Bullet

    What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.

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  • Condom

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

    Magazine

    What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?

    Reload and keep shooting.

    Orphanage

    When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"

    Gun

    I don't like the word "gun".

    Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.

    Skinny

    Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?

    My friend: Chunky dunks.

  • 6
  • Barbie

    Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!

    Odds

    I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.

  • 1