How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere
Of a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment....
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
What was the last thing to run through osama bin ladens mind? Probably a bullet.
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, But bigger ones need a crane.
Whats starts with M and end with arriage?
Miscarriage Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child
WHY DID THE SCIENTIST WANTED TO TAKE OFF HIS DOORBELL
BECAUSE HE WANTED TO WIN THE NO BELL PRIZE
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? -- To the retail store!
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
Yes I’m CUTE
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day....but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
