Short jokes
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
Why is the divorce rate among socks so high?
Have you heard of dideys?
Dideys balls fit in your mouth.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?
Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.
What do you call a questioning Constanta?
Curious George.
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in between 9/11.
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
In a Kahoot, and you're the Twin Tower terrorist: terrorist kill streak 2,996.
Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"
What is the difference between me and a retard?
At least I have chromosomes.
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.