Short jokes
Why do orphans cry at insurance places?
They got offered the family plan.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
What's an EMO's favorite game?...... DARK SOULS
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
I am the grand wizard, mak.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.
Why is the rum gone?
My name is Ethan, and I don't find this funny.
The S in America stands for safe.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.