Short jokes
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
Trevor Bauer for President.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.
What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?
Super Smash Bros.
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
Fishermen are the best at networking.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.