Short jokes

Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.

What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.

The twin towers are like water bottles.

It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.

How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.

Q: What has two wings and a halo?

A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"

What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?

White Vans.

What do you call a frozen communist?

Hammer and popsicle.

Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.

Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.

What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?

Anonymouse.

A man opened a snail farm.

He said that it is a slow-moving business.

what do you call a drunken sailer?

arrested.

I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...

The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.

What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?

Explosion.

What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?

Adolf Hit Her.

What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"

What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.

What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?

Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.