Short jokes
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?
You better not lay a finger on her!
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
What country do French Fries come from? Grease.
In Portuguese, "Trumpa" means bullshit.
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.
Where are the best shooting ranges in America?
Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.