Short jokes
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?
Logan Paul left him hanging.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.
Cheer on the rapist if you want.
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.
I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.
Fat, mean, and probably inbred.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
You can shut the book up.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.