Short jokes
A is for apple, B is for dyslexia—oh wait, no! That’s D!
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
How are mountains able to see?
They peak!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
Dear Slim Shady,
balls.
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.
Yo forehead so big, NASA thought it was Mars.
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.