If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
i had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet.. but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once
Why did the chicken cross the road? To end his pain and suffering.
What do you tell a dead metal fan? Rust in peace
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B"?
Why was the chef embarrassed. He saw the salad dressing.
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle?- cause there are cheetahs!!
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice ...
What do you call pedophiles on a beach. Pedos in Speedos
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league"
What does one saggy boob Say to the other saggy boob
If we don’t get some support people Will think we are ball sacks....
What do squirrels and men have in common? They always want a nut.