Short jokes
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah, duh!
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs?
Because they're EGGstinct!
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.
Balls in your jaws.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
I would roast you but you're already so hot.