Short jokes
I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
Woah, nice cock.
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?
She comes home with sparkles on her face.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?
Hitler knows when to kill himself!
Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?
Because he can't handle 6 perks.
Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...
Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?
Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?