What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink?
Depresso espresso
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would we 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
Some people ask why jokes exist, I say when a mommy and daddy love each other very much they have sex and they make another one of you
Why was the stair case so sad? Because every one walks on them.
What do you describe titanic as? ...broken...
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
What's Jack's Favorite Flower. A Rose.
why did the ball person go to the docter
He was kicked in the balls
you looking for jokes? i have one, your life
Why did the condom cross the road...... Because he was pissed off.
What kind of dogs do miners like best
Golden retrievers haha get it
Why did Helen Keller burn her hands? Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.
SERIOUSLY WHO WANTS FUCKING ANNOYING ORANGE AS PRESIDENT
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, death eight year old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer"
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
i had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet.. but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once
Why did the chicken cross the road? To end his pain and suffering.
