Short jokes
The Arabian Sea is in which state?
Liquid.
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
At every funeral, it's a try-not-to-say-"big mood"-challenge for me.
Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
"Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low... Better turn 'em on, just stubbed my f***ing toe!"
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"
I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.