Short jokes
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
Easy! Peasy! Lemon Squeezy! 🍋😂
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
Priest
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.
What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?
One baby in three trashcans.
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
A stab wound.
Bend over and spell run.