Short jokes
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
On 9/11, the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas. One came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
"Fosters."
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.