Short jokes
I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.
He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."
Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
Because he thought that she would leave him too.
Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.
The "W" in African stands for water.
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
Why did the orange go blind? Because he was low on vitamin C.
I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
Why is it so easy to bully an orphan? What are they gonna do, tell their mum?
Best political joke... Joe Biden.
What is an orphan's favorite show?
Batman.
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."