Short jokes
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.
Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.
I hate myself.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams.
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?
The orphanage.
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?
One stays quiet forever...
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.