Short jokes
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.
Why can't an orphan have a phone?
Because they will see a home.
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A self-portrait.
Lol, the Twin Towers ordered a drop in from Pizza Hut, but instead they got a hot and ready from Jet's.
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
You soak balls, get it?
I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."
Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"
Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.
Why did the clock go out to the gazebo? To spend some time out.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
Okay, good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld," you did not make it.
On the day of 9/11, the WTC's ordered cheese and pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What did the orphan say to the bowling ball?
"I am orphan!"
"You are bowling ball!"
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.