Short jokes
I never get school shooting jokes.
Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.
But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
The "W" in African stands for water.
My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.
He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."
Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
Because he thought that she would leave him too.
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.