Short jokes
A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.
If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
All my jokes are cries for help.
INCLUDING THIS ONE.
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.