Short jokes
What is an orphan's favorite video game?
"Who's Your Daddy?"
I like my kids like I like my lamps.
Hung from the ceiling.
Joe Biden
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
What's the difference between you and an orphan?
Nothing.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
In America, you find Waldo.
In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you.
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.