Short jokes
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
I'd rate the food in Afghanistan a 9/11. That shit was bomb.
What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
The puppies actually get adopted.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
September 11, bring your plane to work day.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.