Short jokes
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
On 9/11, the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas. One came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.